WHEN DOES FLIRTATION CROSS THE LINE?
Activist Tarana Burke founded the nonprofit organization Just Be Inc that serves survivors of sexual harassment and abuse. The movement is called “Me Too.”
When Harvey Weinstein was accused of sexually harassing and assaulting women for decades in 2017, actress Alyssa Milano tweeted the hashtag MeToo and encouraged women to share their stories of sexual harassment and abuse. It took off from there.
Since then, we have seen many men fall from grace by losing their jobs or facing imprisonment, among then Charlie Rose, Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby. Charlie Rose said that he believed that there were “shared feelings,’ with the women concerned and I believe him. Some women like to be close to the seat of power for monetary gain; while others just feel overwhelmed and helpless. Both give in.
To be fair, while there are many women with valid stories of abuse, there are others who have simply jumped onto the Me Too bandwagon either to save face (possibly previously viewed as loose), for monetary gain and notoriety, or to exact revenge.
Having witnessed violence firsthand, I know that some women stay in marriages for the sake of their children, or due to lack of financial resources. Then there are the young boys and girls who are flagrantly taken advantage of and abused either in homes or workplaces and are powerless.
The Hollywood Casting Couch, long in existence, saw actresses sleeping their way up the proverbial ladder, either through consent or by force. However, I always believe that we all have the power to say no and no amount of money and the promise of power should cause a woman to lose her dignity.
So here we are with Governor Andrew Cuomo, who was the voice of calm and reason during the height of the pandemic, being branded as a predator. His alleged actions: Asking a former aide to play strip poker on a plane and kissing her in his office; asking another former aide personal questions such as whether she was interested in older men, was monogamous, etc; the third, a 33-year-old woman, stated that he asked for a kiss at a crowded wedding and held her face (photo of encounter circulating) and touched her on the back.
And I ask: Does any of the aforementioned rise to the level of harassment? Did he stalk the lady at the wedding after the event? Did he demand that his aides give in or face the consequences? No! His apology in part reads, “To be clear I never inappropriately touched anybody and I never propositioned anybody and I never intended to make anyone feel uncomfortable, but these are allegations that New Yorkers deserve answers to.”
I have experienced perhaps all of this and more, and never felt threatened or harassed. Men are hunters and go in for the kill, so to speak. That does not make them criminals. The men who are predators should be dealt commensurate with the deed; it’s not a one-size-fits-all type of situation.
Why strip people off all their accomplishments and force them to resign for trivial human behavior? Men and women are attracted to each other and the obligatory opening line becomes necessary. Sometimes it’s offensive and weak, but that does not mean that the recipient is being harassed.
Who are those people policing Human Behavior? Who are these holier-than-thou hypocrites? Have they never read about King David and Sampson in the Bible? Don’t they know that humans are subject to err and that we all deserve forgiveness?
Flirting with the opposite sex does not fall into the category of sexual harassment. If no one has not been irreparably damaged or killed in the course of human interaction, what is the problem?
Apologies mean something and this nonsense of painting every perceived misdeed with the same brush needs to stop. Humanity demands it!
